In this time of isolation, uncertainty and the arrival of what will be a Ramadan like no other, one recurring theme has shown up consistently. The feeling of ‘missing’.
Be it normality, routines, our loved ones, our colleagues, the luxury of ordering a coffee in the mornings and that first sip as we head to school/work. Everyone misses something, or someone.
ON MISSING RAMADAN
With the arrival of Ramadan we will all miss the warmth and tenderness we felt in our respective congregations and communities. We spent the past year missing, anticipating and needing Ramadan – awaiting a spiritual revival.
And whilst this Ramadan doesn’t quite look as we had imagined it would, it is important to reflect. With everything, there is wisdom and there is a beauty to be found in the weeks of isolation we’ve had in the run up to Ramadan.
To observe prayer and devotion in solitude, without the hubbub and haze of the world is of the sunnah. Our homes have become our cave Hiras, preparing us for a Ramadan in isolation. Although this may be unusual and uncomfortable, the reward for our efforts will be even sweeter in sha Allah (God willing).
Also, a benefit of Ramadan at home; we won’t have to hear the ancient workplace proverb, ‘NOT EVEN WATER?!’ Beautiful.
ON MISSING FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Introversion and extroversion aside, humans typically gravitate towards one another. Concepts of friendship, love, companionship, community – these are innate in us and so, when we are suddenly deprived of physical closeness and intimacy, it takes some adjustment.
There is little to write and share in order to ease the aches of missing loved ones, but it is important to remind ourselves and reflect over the fact we are still connected whilst apart. Had this pandemic taken place in 2005, it would have looked a lot different. Technology has evolved drastically and enabled us to stay close despite being postcodes, cities, countries and oceans away. With Zoom parties, online scrabble, instant messaging – we quite literally can carry our loved ones around with us in our pockets. Whilst this separation is indefinite, we pray it’s not forever.
ON MISSING PEOPLE WE HAD TO LET GO
And now, the emo part. No one is above having their heart strings tugged and falling in love. And it’s an arrogant statement to think we are. Sometimes, the blessing is that we can quickly make that love halal. And sometimes we cannot. And on those occasions, we have to walk away from it. Even if you walk away during Ramadan, that’s a month of being separate from what isn’t yet yours, or what can’t be yours, for the sake of Allah SWT.
With this sort of missing, sometimes it’s simply a case of the following:
‘There’s really no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them until you don’t anymore.’ – @mxryam_6
A prayer for all those dealing with this type of missing. May that which has been broken be restored.
By Khadijah Khatun